Monday, March 31, 2008

The Phoenix Prayer

The frame is collapsing
We’ve built these towers way too high
The sun sets in the palms of our hands
And burns a hole in our bodies
Where the light shines upon our darker selves
Turning our arsenic prayers into prey
The people fall from the windows
And burst into colors, illuminating the streets below
The animals cheer and run wild
Running faster, jumping higher than ever before
They gaze at the stars and begin to form dreams for the first time
And evolve into architects
Together they start to rebuild the frame
"We’ll build it right this time," they say
"We’ll build it without ignorance,
Without dominance leading our hearts.
From this day forward,
We will take steps in the right direction
And lead ourselves to heaven."
But with eyes set to the sun
They become blinded
And begin to walk backwards
They construct these towers higher and higher
They must become faster, and stronger
Enslaving animals of their own like their fathers did
They reach skyward
Grasping for clouds to sit upon as their thrones
But a flaw hides within their calculations
For the frame starts to collapse
They’ve built these towers way too high
The sun sets in the palms of their hands
And burns a hole in their bodies
Where the light shines upon their darker selves
Turning their arsenic prayers into prey
And like a phoenix
The architect within themselves is reborn into their children
And they begin to rebuild once again

Biosignature

The silence lifts as the soundtrack to his life comes into tune
Cross out yesterday, it's just one X closer
To ripping out this month from the books
And he repeats the process until the sunrise blinds his eyes
And buries him with the moon

This is an autobiography of what it feels like
To feel like your life is made of letters and ink
As the pages turn, we sing to ourselves
Why do these words repeat again and again?

We make dreams of ascending skyscrapers
But the elevator reads "out of order"
So he tries to erase the words
Take to the stairs; Just keep climbing and climbing
And climbing and climbing...

Reach for the clouds; They're as thin as the shadows
That follow our footsteps in the setting sun
Will we ever wake up, will we ever wake up
To the sound of our songs on the radio
But the frequencies ring from the morning alarms
Repeating the X's that cover our calendars
So he falls from the edge against the rising sun
Painting the pavement with a crimson period

This is an autobiography of what it feels like
To feel like your life is made of letters and ink
As the pages turn, we sing to ourselves
Why do these words repeat again and again?

Did he jump or did he fall?
The blood only bares hues of hypotheses
The forensics may never know...
Because he burned his book
With the cigarettes that inked his lungs

Love Like Origami

like most encounters, this one starts off simple.
like a blank piece of paper.
over time it has become a beautifully crafted piece of origami.
an artificial swan, perfected by perfect folds.

and sometimes this swan takes to the skies.
coming alive, through our hands.
at this point our breaths synchronize breathless.
embracing as one, where the sun meets the tide.

she is my blue sky.
the clouds act as a painted veil; the art of separation.
but on clear days, her beauty secures my stare.
not letting go until the sun sets.
and even though the darkness keeps her from me (for now).
i know she's there, waiting until morning.

and every time i feel her touch, (the light invading darkness).
i know this swan will never unfold.
for she is mine, our love perfected.
as everlasting as the sound of oceans.

Figures In Reverse

We walk as men but we'll fall as parasites

Take a step back and forget how to breathe...

Forget how to envisage a future of reason
As our hearts begin to beat by machinery
I've relied on you my whole life
A system of alphabets, none of which I speak
And you've let me know that I'll bury myself without you
You've let me know that I'll bury myself without you

By the time the clocks stop, we'll go blind
By the time the clocks stop, we'll go blind

Bury me within the systems failure
Only the mindless could save us, save us from silence

Bury me within the binary
We're dying in exponentials
And by the time we open our eyes to witness the execution
Our children will be blind
By the time we open our eyes to witness the execution
Our children will be blind

I've relied on you my whole life
But you've let me know that I'll bury myself without you
I've relied on you my whole life
But you've let me know that I'll bury myself without you

By the time the clocks stop, we'll go blind
By the time the clocks stop, we'll go blind
By the time the clocks stop, we'll go blind

White Ocean

These flashes of red and blue are not my own
But I mourn in "what if's"
With the love for a stranger

So many unread stories, so many unknown authors
Until these sirens greet us
We'll live as politicians
Building cities for ourselves

As I listen to the ocean through this seashell
I know these sounds of waves are just fictional
As I listen to the ambulance through my car window
I know these sounds of departure are factual

These flashes of red and blue are not my own
But I mourn in "what if's"
With the love for a stranger

Pull back the blinds and let the light into your homes
And step outside to breathe in the chalk outlines
If the phone rings with the songs of a paramedic
I'll take your hand and sing to you, a stranger.

As I listen to the ocean through this seashell
I know these sounds of waves are just fictional
As I listen to the ambulance through my car window
I know these sounds of departure are factual

Thinking of You

Enclosed in a predetermined car crash, (I'm suffering from ataxia once again)
The streetlights impale the pavement, confusion impaling reason
By mistake, or perhaps a motive for temporary amnesia
I have been taken under intoxication for the last time

Everything feels like nothing matters
Although it's possible what matters hasn't all been lost...yet
And I start to remember her (the only thought vodka hasn't impaired)
The visuals becoming almost too real...

And then there she was, her frail body next to mine
Her blood soaking the interior (a constant reminder of my misfortunes)
And somehow, amidst this horrifying accident, disoriented I remain
Like a dove, she lay peacefully, her smile as golden as the sun

And even though it has been a year since the incident (since I declared sobriety)
I can still remember the last words she whispered so very long ago...

"All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy;
for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves;
we must die to one life before we can enter another." [Anatole France]

I am still alive. I am breathing, despite my deepest faults and regrets.
To sum up life in these three words has been my hardest accomplishment yet:

It goes on.

Of Life, I Am Lost

My heart: the lampost bearing the blind
I have the hope of turning mutes to songbirds
Even the sound of my dissonant violins (my own mouth beholds a discordant orchestra)
Can't bring me from touching the sun (that hides the heavens, embracing the touch of hell)

I'm speaking in unfinished phrases, broken languages
The lies I tell are as equal as the truths, as the truths
Those who I've loved, let live, let die
Are now the insignificant details that fill our lives, fill our lives

I have left not one, but an ocean of parting words (all have drowned within this melody)
My memories filling the pages of my being (the ink runs dry to signal the curtains)
And to you, the listener, the reader, the liver
I give to you my last breath...

This life was worth living, I can say, since it is what I made it.

Memoirs of an Avenue

There is a road where we all grow from boys to soldiers
Do we see the road as a whole?
Or do we examine it brick by brick?
If I could carry a conversation with the builder
I would ask him how he paved this road
And how he feels about those who follow it
I would tell him that I have listened to this road
It doesn't speak much
But when it does the sun rises, the flowers bloom
And the trees give birth to the sounds of autumn
I have seen the drivers of this road
Their radios reassuring them that everyone becomes everyone else
Their names beginning with the letters "A" and "I"
The builder let's me know
That he has also seen this sun set
These flowers die as the air gives birth to the touch of winter
And he and I are left to speak in foreign tongues

Where The Leaves Fall

Across the room, on the other side of the glass
There's a picture that parts in the middle
The soldier extending his hand to the ghost
As a familiar nothingness bleeds onto his fingertips
I pick up an unfinished book about the alphabet
Lost somewhere between the letter A and LIFE
I wrote this book when the hands on my watch departed
The timeless ticking building wrinkles under my eyes

And somewhere the leaves are falling
Somewhere, but not here...
And somewhere the leaves are falling
Somewhere, but not here...

There's a little boy that crosses my window
With a little girl; they age hand in hand
In ten years they kiss against the sunlit sky
He bears a full beard, her eyes composed of promise
Ten years more they both share gold
A house, two children; mirrors of themselves
It's been fifty years since that day, I remember
Fifty years since I've forgotten my name

And somewhere the leaves are falling
Somewhere, but not here...
And somewhere the leaves are falling
Somewhere, but not here...

And somewhere the rain is falling
Somewhere, but not here...
And somewhere the doves are calling
Somewhere, but not here...

Playing With Fire

Remember...
When our eyes filled with hope
When matches were made of pretend
And we lit up our bedrooms
With stories of falling in love...

It's 10 years later
And we've run out of bedrooms to burn
Left with the last conditional match
We burn ourselves

These words were once melodies
But they've been lost in the screams
And I can't seem to rewrite the sentences
A word erases with each flicker
Until we forget our childhood

What do we pretend when the matches are gone
When the words abandon the paper
And we forget how the story ends...

Every night, I fall asleep to desperate candles
That call out to silhouettes
But they're too shy to let us believe

Don't dream son, don't dream
Until we forget our childhood

Untitled

We rose from boys to soldiers.
I've got my rifle; you've got your memories.
This is where the battlefield separates blood from the bullet.
10 paces, weapons drawn, backs turned.
The shot is fired, ripping through the photographs.
There's a wall of smoke concealing your eyes.
I'm sorry kid, but I've got a sun to rise.
So here's your bedtime story.
The hero dies in this one.

The Sky Fell Amidst Remembrance

Open the photograph book
Can you hear the laughter of our childhood?
This memory's worth a thousand words
I can recite every moment

Conceal the laughter, hide the smiles
And I can't remember our last serenade
The camera hides inside our temper
Too afraid to find what's become of us

And we're too impatient to find forgiveness
To collect our hearts from the kidnapper
I'm giving up; you're taking down:
The barren petals apart from this rose

It's too late
The sun is setting
The embers of our love
Are burning in the clouds
We'll wake tomorrow
To ash descending skies
A box of matches lies in our hands
So what are we waiting for?

The clock's ticking down
But our hands remain still
Imitating the pictures
Before the bullet builds the hole
Our matches incinerated
As smiles fold to curtains
Strike flame to the windows

Now there's a hole in the glass
Where we cut out all consciousness
And as I reach through
I choke the emptiness
Grasping the affliction of my regrets
The only paradise we've ever known
Now buried in the evanescence
Of the rising sun.

Evolving The Aesthetic

Reminiscence: I see a portrait of you
Painted with the most vibrant of colors
Your smile brighter than the sun
But your touch is oh so cold...

Like the wings of Icarus
I've melted for the gratification
Of your nails embedded into my skin
Of my knife embedded into yours

Beside oneself: My thoughts seem distant
But this feeling is so familiar
The ones I love abandoning my life
With nothing to lose, I join them

Like the wings of Icarus
I've melted for the gratification
Of vile bliss blinding my eyes
Giving sight to the never seeing

I am not the entity of solace
I am not comfort in sorrow
I am not the epitome of grace
Evolving the aesthetic into the unbeautiful

Evolving the aesthetic

["These flowers, which were splendid and sprightly,
waking in the dawn of the morning,
in the evening will be a pitiful frivolity,
sleeping in the cold night's arms..."]

In the cold night's arms!

I see a portrait of you
Painted with the most vibrant of colors
Your smile brighter than the sun
But your touch is oh so cold...

I am not the entity of solace
I am not comfort in sorrow
I am not the epitome of grace
Evolving the aesthetic into the unbeautiful

Like the wings of Icarus
I've melted for the gratification
Of vile bliss blinding my eyes
Giving sight to the never seeing

Mannequins and Marionettes

Can't you see these mechanical dreams?
Of course not, mannequins are blind
Like a rusted razor to the throat
Cut these strings and save yourselves.

They sell money trees
And cancer cures
That conceal infected labels
Spreading, and we don't feel a thing
"It's all a lie, but who's listening?"
But nobody ever "looks"
When everyone else follows.

It's hard to see the inferno
When everyone else looks like flames
As gasoline touches our skin
Strike the match, watch us burn
Watch us burn into black butterflies
We've all been corrupted now.

Can't you see these mechanical dreams?
Of course not, mannequins are blind
Like a rusted razor to the throat
Cut these strings and save yourselves.

Burn your wealth
It's no good anyway
Don't bother to open your eyes
For you're already blind

Give me your hand, I'll guide you...
So you can feel these words
And stretch your broken wings
Fly from mendacity
And sing yourself a lullaby
To break the whispers.

Cut these strings and save yourselves.

Mannequins and Marionettes

Can't you see these mechanical dreams?
Of course not, mannequins are blind
Like a rusted razor to the throat
Cut these strings and save yourselves.

They sell money trees
And cancer cures
That conceal infected labels
Spreading, and we don't feel a thing
"It's all a lie, but who's listening?"
But nobody ever "looks"
When everyone else follows.

It's hard to see the inferno
When everyone else looks like flames
As gasoline touches our skin
Strike the match, watch us burn
Watch us burn into black butterflies
We've all been corrupted now.

Can't you see these mechanical dreams?
Of course not, mannequins are blind
Like a rusted razor to the throat
Cut these strings and save yourselves.

Burn your wealth
It's no good anyway
Don't bother to open your eyes
For you're already blind

Give me your hand, I'll guide you...
So you can feel these words
And stretch your broken wings
Fly from mendacity
And sing yourself a lullaby
To break the whispers.

Cut these strings and save yourselves.

Mannequins and Marionettes

Can't you see these mechanical dreams?
Of course not, mannequins are blind
Like a rusted razor to the throat
Cut these strings and save yourselves.

They sell money trees
And cancer cures
That conceal infected labels
Spreading, and we don't feel a thing
"It's all a lie, but who's listening?"
But nobody ever "looks"
When everyone else follows.

It's hard to see the inferno
When everyone else looks like flames
As gasoline touches our skin
Strike the match, watch us burn
Watch us burn into black butterflies
We've all been corrupted now.

Can't you see these mechanical dreams?
Of course not, mannequins are blind
Like a rusted razor to the throat
Cut these strings and save yourselves.

Burn your wealth
It's no good anyway
Don't bother to open your eyes
For you're already blind

Give me your hand, I'll guide you...
So you can feel these words
And stretch your broken wings
Fly from mendacity
And sing yourself a lullaby
To break the whispers.

Cut these strings and save yourselves.

I've Seen Lovers Laid to Waste

Summer days and Winter nights
The romance was never so astir
As our lips embrace a promise
That we'll never lose hope
We'll never fall apart
Please hold me so tightly
That I won't forget your touch
Your fingers entwined in mine
As I lay my head against yours
True love hasn't failed us.

"Lets take a walk" I whisper to her
"I wan't to show you something"
To the place where our kiss
Was born into this world
The car doors close
And she's blindfolded, passenger side
I tell her it's going to be ok
As we follow that lonely road

The stars that rose when I saw your beauty
Are all present in the sky tonight
The cold november air caresses the windows
I smile to how reminiscent this feels
And even though she's blinded to this
She smiles back.

We're almost there I say to her
A warm grin appears on her lips
I lean over to kiss my beloved
And calamity kisses back.

Shards of glass cut through our skin
But my heart holds on to yours
As we lay paralyzed
Inside our own tragedy

It's a dream's worst enemy come true
As the sirens are faintly heard
One last moment together
And we're screaming "I love you" tonight

I've seen lovers laid to waste
A world of joy and affection
Isn't such a friend
When your thrown through a windshield
I've seen too many a love loss
To realize, romance has it's own heaven and hell
I've seen lovers laid to waste
Another tear, another grave filled...

By innocent hearts and guilty bloodshed.